Learning to Live Again is Killing Me
by SavageauthorAJ
Summary: Tachi has moved to New York and has started recording with XMR and things begin to get better. Until he Meets up with a certain pink haired singer.
1. The Entry

As Much As I would like to say that I've gotten my life back in order, it really isn't. Its been seven years now since I lost my band and my friends. I'm now A singer at X-M-R working solo and having great success. My first song "I'll Just Walkaway" is at the top of the charts and my first album is soon to be released, I've put most of the things of my past away but there is one thing I could never put away. Shuichi Shindo the singer of the band "Bad Luck" I raped him. That will always curse me and will never go away. But I try everyday to move on but my music is always dark and sad. I wounder if I'll ever be happy again.

"**I'll Just Walkaway (Goodbye)"**

I think its time we say goodbye

all we do is fight at night

I'll pack my bags and walkaway

Sure you'll cry but yell be okay

I'll walk away from the hurt

I'll walk away from the pain

Move on with all your heart without me

As long as you never forget me well be okay

So I'll walkaway

Well find somebody new

Somebody that cares for us

the pain will wash away

but we have to forget what we had

so walkaway

We'll walkaway from that hurt

We'll walkaway from that pain

Well move on with are hearts broken

So well walk away

Well find are true love

Ones that well guide us on are way

We can still talk

We can still be friends

lets not think about what we had

I'll move on

So should you

I'll just walk away

Goodbye...

Goodbye


	2. Can I Care For You?

**Chapter 2**

"Good Morning Mr. Aizawa, What can I do for you this morning" A young woman asked.. "I have an appointment with Mr. Gear" Tachi said coldly. "Yes, one minute I tell him your here" the young lady said. Taki took a set in the corner of the room and waited. "Mr. Aizawa, Mr. Gear will see you now" The Women said from her desk. Taki got up from the chair and walked int a a rather large room. "Tachi Aizawa your hear on time, thats great take a seat" A Tall blond haired man said. Taki took a set in a white chair that was facing his label boss. "Tachi I called you here because I've begone to worry about the release of your first album" the blond haired man said. "I think everything is going well I don't now what concerns you Mr. Gear, but I'm willing to fix what ever it is" Tachi said softly.

"What bugs me is that all the songs that you have chosen thus far are nothing but sad and some what depressing. For the last few songs that you need I want them to be happy" Mr. Gear said with a stern face. "Mr. Gear I've been having problems with that. And I don't how much it would take for me to do something happy" Tachi said concerned. "I've been thinking about that I think I have just The solution. I'm going to give you that help of our new song writer" Mr. Gear said. "Ms. Lear please send him in". The doors to the room opened and Taki was shocked at who he saw. "Tachi meet Shuichi Shindow are new song writer". "What you, what the hell are you doing in America!?" Tachi yelled. "I could ask you the same thing!" Shuichi yelled back. "Well I see that you now each other" Mr. Gear said. "Mr. Gear you can't expect me to work with this pink haired freak can you!?" Tachi yelled. "I Can't help write songs for this sadistic singer!" Shuichi Said throwing his small red bag on the floor.

"So, your both refusing to work together is that it?" Mr. Gear said. "EXACTLY!" Tachi and Shuichi yelled. "Okay, heres what I have to say. If you two choose not to work together, then I have no choice but to get rid of both of you. I can also put my influence on every record label in the country. I also now that both of you have some reason for not wanting to returning to Japan. So it's really up to both of you. If you do this you keep your jobs in music or you can just make money by doing something else" Mr. Gear said. Tachi and Shuichi new what this guy seemed like and they new that he was serious. They looked at each other with such disgust they new what had to happen. "Well work together" They both said with serious looks on there faces. "Good. Level 2 room 34B is open for you two to work" Mr. Gear said. The two younger males left the room and began to head for the elevator.

They didn't say anything as they got in and began to go down. "So your an American singer now Aizawa?" Shuichi said coldly. "Yeah so what if I am look at you" Tachi said looking away. "How dare you say anything to me you cold hearted rapist!" Shuichi yelled enraged. "Your just a loveless little pink haired Monkey!" Tachi yelled while staring at Shuichi. "Shut up you poop head!"Shuichi yelled. "Is that the best you can do. You sound like a little kid" Tachi said with a laugh. "At least I didn't lose all my friends and the respect of an entire country!" Shuichi said. "You have no right to say that to me at least I didn't engage myself in a relationship that was only going because of one person!" Tachi Yelled. "What!?" Shuichi yelled. "You heard me you did everything for that guy and he never cared about what you did" Tachi said. "Thats not true he just had trouble showing it. But he did care about me" Shuichi said softly. "Then why are you here?" Tachi said looking at Shuichi. Shuichi said nothing he stayed silent. Tachi then heard Shuichi crying. The elevator stopped and Shuichi ran out.

Tachi saw the little pinked haired boy run into the bathroom. He walked past the bathroom and then stopped. 'Why should I care about that brat' Tachi thought. He turned around and entered the bathroom. He saw Shuichi standing at one of the sinks washing his face. "So what happened between you and Mr. Airi Yuki?" Tachi asked. "What do you care?"Shuichi said looking up briefly. "Because, I thought you two would always be together. Like I thought Me and Ma-ken were going to always be together" Tachi said lowering his head. "He got tired of me. He found somebody else that would love him" Shuichi said. "Who was it?" Tachi asked softly. "It was my best friend Hiro. I found out that they were dating behind my back . I found out confronted Yuki and He kicked me out for good. I left Bad Luck and came to America" Shuichi said softly. "Ma-ken, left me because he said he didn't love me anymore. We promised to always be friends but it was never the same. I did what I did to you right after I found out that Ma-ken found another lover. At that time I didn't care if I lost everything.

There was silents. They had both shared parts of there lives that they thought would never be found out. "I'll be waiting in the room, when your ready to start" Tachi said leaving the bathroom. Shuichi finished washing his face. He was thinking about everything that Taki just told him. He was still angry at him but this was the truth at least thats what it sounded like. Could he ever forgive Taki for what happened. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had changed every since that day for the better but he couldn't help but wounder if his life with Yuki would have been different. Or if it just would have ended sooner. Shuichi dried his face with a paper towel and left the bathroom still confused about the whole situation.

When Shuichi entered the room it was painted white and kinda small. Tachi was sitting holding a large folder and waving it at Shuichi. Shuichi walked over to were Taki was sitting and grab a seat. "Well, shall we begin?" Tachi asked. "Yeah, sure" Shuichi said. He took the folder from Taki and opened it up. He began to read. A few minutes later he closed the folder and looked at Tachi. "Well, what is it" Tachi asked. "Do you hate yourself that much that you have to write about nothing but pain and loathing ?" Shuichi asked with a stern look on his face. "What do you expect I left Japan in pain and I thought I was doing the right thing and I would be happy. But truth was I never would be. Thats why I write the way I do" Tachi said.

"I see so this is what you can do? Well then we better get started" Shuichi said grabbing a pen off the table. As Shuichi began to write Tachi began to go deep into thought. 'What is wrong with me do I really want to open up to him? He could never forgive me for what I did to him but I can't help but wounder what if I never caused him pain would I still feel what I'm feeling right now? Is this love?' Tachi came out of the deep thought with the sounds of Shuichi calling his name. "Tachi are you okay?" Shuichi asked. "I'm fine I just was in deep thought" Tachi said looking into Shuichi's crimson eyes. "So do you have any more Ideas?" Shuichi asked. "All I now it has to be something happy, something that pleases Mr. Gear" Tachi said.

There was a silence and the two didn't say a word. "Shuichi I now that there isn't anything that I can do to change what I did to you. It was wrong of me to do that to you. I don't now what I really was thinking. But I just want you to now that I'm so sorry and it's fine if you never forgive me I don't deserve it" Tachi said lowering his head. "Tachi I can't forgive you for what you did but we can move past it. I now know that your a different person now then you were then. So lets just move on okay?" Shuichi asked his eyes locked with Tachi's. They began to move closer together until they met in a kiss. Shuichi quickly broke away and ran out of the room. "Shuichi wait!" Tachi yelled as he ran out of the room.

**I really Hoped that you Loved this chapter And I will update as soon as possible. One last thing I will not update until I get more reviews**


	3. Do I Care About You

**Chapter 3**

The door swag open and Shuichi began to run out as he cried. Tachi began to chase after him not knowing what to say or do but he new something had to happen. "Shindo!" Tachi yelled as he ran right behind the pink hared boy. "Stay away from me!" Shuichi yelled. It was then that Shuichi lost his footing and fell over crashing to the ground with a loud thud. Tachi stopped and began to hear Shuichi sob, he walked over next to him and leaned down. He put his hand on top of Shuichi's shoulder. "Don't touch me!" Shuichi said pulling his body away from Tachi's hand. " I now it was wrong for me to kiss you but it just happened. "If you new that it was so wrong then why did you do it!?" Shuichi yelled. Shuichi's face turned towards Tachi's his eye's were red from all the crying that he had done. Tachi didn't now what to say anymore.

"I just couldn't bear not to. I just don't really now" Tachi said looking away. "You don't now but you did it anyway!" Shuichi yelled. "I didn't mean for this to happen" Tachi said. "Well it did, I can't work with you not if this is going to happen" Shuichi said. He grabbed the papers that were scattered on the ground and ran. Tachi got up from the floor and saw people staring at him. "All of you need to mind your own damn business!" Tachi yelled. The ones watching looked away acting like they weren't doing anything in the first place. Tachi walked back to the room. He sat down and placed his head down on the white table. ' Why did I kiss him! I don't even like him. He caused me so much pain'.

Tachi picked up a pen that was laying on the table and began to write on a piece paper left behind by Shuichi.

**I want to kiss your lips**

**I want to say I love you**

**Baby you now it's true**

Tachi stopped when he saw someone entering the room. "I just heard what happened. Are you really trying to end your career here?" The Tall man said. "I didn't do anything, Mr. Gear" Tachi said looking away. "From what I got from everyone you got into a fight because you kissed him" Mr. Gear said. "It just happened. I never meant to!" Tachi yelled. Gear walked over to the table where Tachi was sitting. "I have no choice but to..." Gear stopped when he took a glance at what Tachi was writing. Gear grabbed the paper and began to read it. "Well I can see that working that short time with Mr. Shindo helped you out greatly" Gear said putting the paper down. "You may continue with your writing" Gear said. "Sir I thought that you were going to fire me?" Tachi said. "I was until I saw what you wrote down" Gear said. Gear left the room and closed the door behind him.

Tachi got up and ran out the door trying to get to Mr. Gear. "Mr. Gear!" Tachi yelled when he walked out. "What is it Tachi?" Mr. Gear asked as he turned around. "What's going to happen to Shuichi?" Tachi said. "If he comes in tomorrow and says that he will not work with you. Then I'll have no choice but to fire him" Mr. Gear said softly. Mr. Gear continued on his way but stopped for a second. "Tachi I think you'll be needing this" Mr. Gear said dropping a piece of paper on the ground. Tachi picked it up and when he looked up Mr. Gear was gone. Tachi took the folded piece of paper and opened it up. It was Shuichi's address. "How did he now?" Tachi asked softly.

Tachi stood there not knowing what to do. 'If I go to him what will I say or do. But I just can't let him lose his job because of me. He lost a lot just because of me' Tachi thought. Tachi ran down the stairs to the main floor and ran out of the building doors. He waved for a taxi and got in. "Take me to 437 S. Henderson street. Please hurry!" Tachi said. The Taxi went as fast as it could and arrived in just five minutes. Tachi throw the money at the cab drive and took the piece of paper. "Let's see apartment 12" Tachi said. Tachi ran up to the sections of apartments looking for Shuichi's place. Tachi ran up the cement stairs and at the top was apartment 12. Tachi took a deep breath and knocked on the door and waited.

"Who is it" A voice asked. "Its Tachi" Tachi said. "Leave me the hell alone. I have nothing to say to you!" The voice screamed. "Shuichi, please I'm sorry for what I did. I shouldn't have kissed you" Tachi said leaning on the door. "Then why the hell are you here!?" Shuichi screamed. "I'm trying to be nice and help you keep your job" Tachi said. The door opened and Tachi fell in. "Well, come in" Shuichi sarcastically. "Thanks" Tachi said getting up. Shuichi walked of to a denim colored couch. "So you were saying something about my job?" Shuichi said looking up at Tachi. "Mr. Gear told me that if you come in tomorrow and say that you refuse to work with me, then your going to get fired" Tachi said. "So what am I going to do then. After today I don't think I can work with you" Shuichi said giving Tachi a cold stare.

"I promise that I will not kiss you again. Just don't choose to lose your job" Tachi said lowering his head. "What does it matter to if I do lose my job?" Shuichi asked. "I don't want to be blamed for ruining your life again" Tachi said looking at Shuichi. There was a pause there was just Shuichi and Tachi staring at each other. "Fine, I'll work with you" Shuichi said looking away. "Fine I'll see you tomorrow" Tachi said opening the door. "Tachi why did you kiss me?" Shuichi asked. "I really don't now Shindo. I don't now"Tachi said. "Do you love me?" Shuichi asked. Tachi paused didn't now what to say. ' Why can't I say no it's just that simple, but I just can't' Tachi thought. "I have to go" Tachi said. Before Shuichi could say anything Tachi was gone. "I need to now Tachi. I'll get it from you tomorrow then" Shuichi said softly.

**I hoped you love this chapter I'm doing what I can schools really bugging me right now but I'll get to what Tachi really feels the next chapter :)**


	4. Love You Forever

**Chapter 4**

Tachi was laying on his bed looking up at the celling. He was in deep thought about everything that had happened that day. He couldn't sleep and he couldn't stopped thinking about today. "What the hell is wrong with me!?" Tachi yelled. He didn't say anything as if he was expecting an answer. ' I can;t love him can I? What happened between me and him I shouldn't have the right to love him or anyone else. But what I feel must be something' Tachi thought. Tachi, so fell asleep.

Tachi's mind raced with pictures in his sleep, he saw himself as he was back in Japan. Everything he did was full of hate and anger. The thoughts of the first time he met Bad Luck was even bad when he looked at them as nothing more then a then a cheesy act. He moved forward and he found no moment that was good when he was around Bad luck . Then he came to what changed his fate in Japan all together. The night that he raped Shuichi, he was so proud of himself when he got what he wanted. A way to end Bad Luck forever.

He awoke in a cold sweat and put his hand on his head. He looked over at his digital alarm clock that was sitting on his oak night stand. "Damn, It's already tomorrow" Tachi said. Tachi yawned and got out of bed. Then he thought about yesterday and what Shuichi asked him. 'Do I love him or not' He thought. Tachi jumped into the shower and His mind began to race with picture of Shuichi He felt good thinking about him. Then he began to get hard and thought about other things. Tachi got out of the shower and quickly got changed. He ate a quick bowl of cereal brushed his teeth and took off out the door.

He didn't live that far away from X-M-R so he just walked. The streets were packed with people and he found himself getting pushed back until he became more forceful and made his way through the crowds. He made it to the office in about ten minutes. Tachi walked into the building and a blond haired woman began to call his name. Tachi walked over to a large desk. "Mr. Aizawa, Mr. Gear wanted me to tell you that he wanted you and Mr. Shindo to use the same room that you used yesterday" The woman said. "Thanks I;ll head up right now" Tachi said walking away. Tachi walked the hall and entered the room and saw Shuichi sitting at the large table writing something. "Shindo, your here early" Tachi said.

"I wanted to start working early" Shuichi said. Tachi leaned over Shuichi's shoulder and saw the song he began to write the other day. "You did this much with what I wrote all ready?" Tachi said. "Yeah, It's a lot better for me if you write things like this" Shindo said. Tachi sat down next to Shuichi and just watched him write. 'He looks so cute when he writes' Tachi thought. "There it's done" Shuichi said. "Tachi what are you looking at me like that for". Tachi quickly changes the look on his face. "It's nothing Shindo" Tachi said. 'Yeah, let me see if I can get a rise out of you' Shuichi thought. Shuichi moved over to the point that he was practically in Tachi's lap. Tachi began to freak a little bit but did his best to keep his cool.

Shuichi then moved completely onto Tachi's lap. Tachi quickly moved from the chair Making Shuichi almost fall to the ground. "Tachi why did you do that for?" Shuichi asked. "Just don't do that okay!" Tachi yelled. "So it shouldn't bug you unless you do love me" Shuichi said. "Why did this matter to you it's not like you love me. I now that you shouldn't because of what I did to you" Tachi said. "I don't understand it myself but I do love you. You say I shouldn't love you but I can't help it. I just need you to say it" Shuichi said. Tachi noticed how serious Shuichi's face had be come and he new that he had no choice. "Shindo, I do l...love you" Tachi said. Shuichi quickly jumped up ion to Tachi and They fell to the ground.

"Damn, Shindo you got heavy" Tachi said. "Hey, that's not nice"Shuichi said. Tachi gave Shuichi a quick kiss on the lips and then said. "Deal with it".Shuichi blushed and kissed Tachi back. "Let's get up so I can see what you did with this song" Tachi said. Tachi took a seat and Shuichi sat on his lap holding the paper in his hands.

**Love You (Forever)**

I want to kiss your lips

I want to say I love you

Baby you now it's true

Let me be there for you forever

When I see your smiling face

I forget all my troubles

When you're sitting next to me I want to scream I love you

Let me love you

Let me hold you so tight

**Chores**

You say I shouldn't love you

I now that's not true

Let me kiss you endlessly

Will you stay in my heart forever?

I just want you so bad

Let me hold you

Hold you so tight

Give me all the love you have in side

**Chores**

Let me love you

Let me love you

Forever...

"Wow Shindo, This song is great" Tachi said. "Well I have an idea for a very special one" Shindo said. "Well tell me what is it?" Tachi asked. Shuichi picked up another paper and gave it to Tachi. "Do you think Mr. Gear will give us clearance on this song?" Tachi asked. "Well, let's go ask then" Shuichi said. They walked out of the room holding hands. They took the elevator up and walked into Mr. Gears office. "Mr. Gear I want to now if you would give us clearance on this song" Tachi said. Shuichi handed the paper over to Mr. Gear and he began to look it over. "I can only approve this song if you have done at least two other songs. Shuichi then handed Mr. Gear to other papers. "Tachi, I will give you clearance on this song" Mr. Gear said. "You can start recording tomorrow". Tachi and Shuichi walked out with big smiles on there face. "I love you so much Shindo" Tachi said. "I love you to Tachi, and please call me Shuichi" Shuichi said. "Got it Shuichi" Tachi said with a smile.

--

**Please forgive me on the Delay I have been dealing with a lot in school and Work but I'm doing my best. There is only one more chapter left and it's going to be a big Chapter with singing and Love So watch out for that. **


	5. Love you too

**At last it's finished and with this end I hope to start a sequel but only if there is interest **

**----**

**Chapter 5**

The bright sun light filled a large bedroom and began to awaken the sleeping occupants. Tachi slowly rose from his large bed and stretched his arms as he yawned. He looked down at the bed to see his pink haired lover sound asleep holding on tight to his waist. "Shuichi, it's time to get up or well be late. "Just a little longer" came a little voice. "Come on now todays the last day of my tour" Tachi said leaning down and giving Shuichi a kiss on the forehead. "Okay" Shuichi said with a smile.

A few months have gone by and a lot has happened since then. Tachi's album was released and it went platinum in just three days. But the biggest news was that Tachi and Shuichi were living together happily. Now Tachi was on his final performance of his tour all around the US. What makes this so great was Shuichi was going to sing a duet with Tachi at this one. Tachi couldn't wait. They were running late and decided just to take a shower together. After playing around a little they were ready to go.

They waited outside as a small limo pulled up in front of them. They entered the limo and off they went. "You were late again Tachi" A young woman said. "Sorry, Ms. Mar" Tachi said softly. "Sorry , doesn't cut it Tachi you could get dropped for this" An older man said. "I know that Mr. Kim" Tachi said. "It's not all Tachi's fault it was partly mine" Shuichi said. "The only reason that we don't blame you is your all wise running late" Ms. Mar said typing something on her PDA. "Well were rushing you to to the Stadium the concert is going to start in 30 minutes" Mr. Kim said. "Shindou, have you practiced with Tachi on the song?" Mr. Kim asked. 'Yes and I'm ready" Shuichi answered.

As they got closer, they saw that the parking lot was overflowing. They reached the main door and Tachi was taken strait to his dressing room to get ready. As Shuichi got ready for the final song. Shuichi was still unaware of what Tachi had planned for there song. He continued with "Love like Fantasy". An hour passed and it was almost time for the final song and Shuichi was nervise. This would be the first time he would sing in english in front of so many people.

Another 20 minates past and it was time. Tachi reached for the Microphone and began to speak. "I would like to thank all of you for being here tonight. But I'm sorry to say there is only one song left and I'm not going to do it alone. Many of you must remeber the band Bad Luck. It has been two years now since they were disbanded and today for the first time since then Shuichi Shindo The lead singer of that great band is here today to sing with me on this last song that he wrote. Now I present Shuichi Shindou" Tachi yelled. Shuichi walked on stage and everyone went crazy. "Thank you everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Now me and Tachi will sing his number one hit sing "Let Me In" Shuichi said. The music began to play

**Let me in**

The sun is shining bright

Kids are playing in the street

But you're inside crying away

Tears of endless pain

Tears falling into pulls of sorrow

Feels like standing on a cold mountain top

Like trying to brake but you can't stop

Or walking away from the one you love

Is like crying tears of endless pain

They said they would return to you

They waved goodbye saying they'd return

Now they stand at heavens Gate

Leaving you so alone

**Chores**

Don't cry I'll be there for you

They may be gone

But I'm not gone

I'll be here to love you

So please Let me in

Love is so sweet

Love is the sight of Flowers in your eyes

But it gives you so much pain

Just let me in

Let me in to love you

My heart is waiting for you

You deserve to Love again

Just Let me in

**Chores**

**X2**

Love is what I can give you

Let me in

Please let me into your heart

Let me in to love you

The way you deserve to be

As the song ended Tachi took Shuichi in his arms and kissed him. The crowed cheered. "Shuichi I love you" Tachi said. "I love you to" Shuichi said and met in another kiss. The lights went down as the concert ended. But it was just beginning for Tachi and Shuichi.

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**After a long absents I returned to finish this story and I have plans for a sequel and much more. This will only happen if there is interest Now I will give you a sort summary of the squeal "To Make you fell my Love"**

**_Tachi and Shuichi are happy together and Signs for marriage are getting closer but all that could change when a certain blond haired writer wants Shuichi back. Now Shuichi must choose to stay with his new love or return to the one he fell for first which will he Choose? _**


End file.
